Here's how to advertise your film festival on Kermode and Mayo's "Take" podcast - free

Sharing your film festival or film-adjacent event on Kermode and Mayo's Take (formerly Wittertainment) podcast.

Edit: Updated 20 May 2024

Rather than doing this feature weekly the "What's On" part of 'Take' is now a monthly thing so you need to get your voice memo to them in time for when the episode is recorded.

General timing
"We do read every email sent to us but unfortunately not everything can be read out on the podcast. As we record on a Wednesday morning, anything we receive after close of play on Monday (1800 GMT/ 1300 Eastern/ 1000 Pacific) is unlikely to be included in that week's show."

What's On voice memo feature
"If you're emailing about our 'What's On' listings feature for smaller/ independent events on the podcast, this is how it works. ***PLEASE NOT THAT FROM MAY ONWARDS THIS FEATURES IS MOVING TO MONTHLY RATHER THAN WEEKLY***
 
* Someone from your festival/ screening records a voice note
* Maximum 25 seconds, ideally 20
* Starts with "Hello Simon and Mark, this is.. from (screening/ festival name)."
* Then describe your festival/ screening/ event and give the dates/ times
* Send the voice note to this email address correspondence@kermodeandmayo.com two weeks before the event
* We will play some of these on the podcast (time permitting)
* We need all submissions for the next month to arrive by the Monday before the last Wednesday of the current month."

The above text is lifted wholesale from the automated response that arrives whenever you email the correspondence@... address above. I can't imagine anyone would object to me republishing it here but if they do I will cheerfully remove it :-) I made the last line red though.

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Original post is below

I help run the Charlton and Woolwich Free Film Festival, one of several Free Film Festivals in London, and have been really pleased that Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo's 'Kermode & Mayo's Take' podcast now has an opportunity for community film festivals and other film-y special events to advertise themselves through the medium of a 20 second voice memo clip. These are shared on the podcast towards the end. It's completely free to send one in!

This blog post is about how to do that and includes some timings so that you can hear some examples. I've also included the 'scripts' of what people said and the duration of their clip, to give a flavour of the different approaches, and at the end is a short practical guide on how to email a voice memo from a phone.

Email your 20 sec audio clip advert to correspondence@kermodeandmayo.com

 

Table of Contents
A. Timings
B. The 'scripts' of what people said
C. How to email a voice memo (from an iPhone) 

A. Timings
Note that timings vary depending on the different platforms, as different adverts are used, so I've given a rough guide of timings for the iPhone podcast app and for the same app on a Mac to point you in the right direction (but tracking a few seconds to a minute either side will probably be needed if you're using a different platform). 

A1. Timings on my phone’s podcast app were
1. Minions (1 July 2022) - approx 1hr 8min 15sec
2. Sheridan Smith (15 July 2022) - approx 1hr 13min 34sec
3. Daisy Edgar Jones (22 July 2022) - approx 1hr 17min 39sec
4. Jordan Peele (12 August) - approx 1hr 12min 07sec
5. Hugh Bonneville (19 August) - approx 1hr 11min 50 sec

A2. Timings on Apple podcasts at time of writing were
1. Minions (1 July 2022) - approx 1hr 05min 45sec
2. Sheridan Smith (15 July 2022) - approx 1hr 11min 05sec
3. Daisy Edgar Jones (22 July 2022) - approx 1hr 16min 18sec
4. Jordan Peele (12 August) - approx 1hr 09min 54sec
5. Hugh Bonneville (19 August) - approx 1hr 11min 32sec

B. The 'scripts' of what people said
1. Minions episode
"Hi Simon and Mark, Kirsty here from the Outdoor Picture Palace. Join us on the 16th and 17th of July as we screen The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Descent and The Alpinist in the Lake District at the UK's most extreme cinema. If you fancy being driven up a mountain in a 4 by 4 before geting comfy inside Honister Slate Mine with popcorn in hand, book tickets now at theoutdoorpicturepalace.com. See you in the Audience." [20 sec]

"Hello Simon and Mark. This is Steve from TAPE, in Old Colwyn, North Wales. July 1st sees the release of our second feature film Approaching Shadows. The film's been made by over 250 people accessing the charity over the last four years with every element of the work completed through an inclusive production model. It's released in the UK through Bohemia Media and we'd love people to check it out, thank you." [18 sec]

"Hi Mark and Simon. My plug is the Carbonale a one-day climate culture festival, July 2nd in Berlin. One of the organisers is a very good friend, documentary film-maker Lena Müller. The event is all about living with the climate crisis in a non hand-wringing way. That's Carbonale C-A-R-B-O-N-A-L-E.com, July 2nd, Berlin." [24 sec]

2. Sheridan Smith episode
"This is Kevin from the newly minted city of Doncaster promoting our monthly sci-fii screening at Doncaster Brewery Tap, on Young Street. The master brewer Ian will be showing the Michael Anderson classic Logan's Run on Friday 29 July at 7pm. Fish and plankton and sea-greens. It's all here, ready, fresh as harvest day." [20 sec]

Hello Simon and Mark, this is Token Homo from London-based film-club queer horror nights. Our next screening is a rare double bill of the Psycho sequels. That's Psycho 2 and Psycho 3 back to back at the Cinema Museum on Sunday the 24th of July at 6.30pm. Join us from 5.30 for a bar social then check into the Bates Motel to find out what Norman did next." [23 sec]

3. Daisy Edgar Jones episode
"Hi I'm Rob from the Recovery Street Film Festival. This annual competition gives people in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction and their families the opportunity to share their stories through the use of film and challenge the taboo that so often goes hand in hand with addiction. Find out more about how you can enter the competition and watch some of the winning entries from previous years at rsff.co.uk." [24 sec]

"Hi Simon and Mark, Lloyd Bradley here, curator of From Jamaica to the World a new season of films celebrating Reggae music on at the BFI Southbank and on BFI player throughout August. The season puts Jamaican music in its Jamaican context by covering all aspects of reggae culture and the life that surrounds it. These music documentaries and iconic films include a 50th anniversary re-release of The Harder They Come which will be in cinemas across the UK from the 5th of August." [34 sec]

4. Jordan Peele episode
"The last arthouse theatre in the Southern Hemisphere, Cinema Nova, is turning 30 this August. Starting as 2 screens in 1992, and now 16 screens, it's helped make Melbourne a major centre for cinema culture. My name is Simon, I've worked there for 17 years as the maintenance man and three of my children have also worked there as as ushers and [missed what was said here]. I wanted to wish Cinema Nova a happy 30th birthday, thank you." [26 sec]

5. Hugh Bonneville episode
"This is Pat Higgins, writer-director of Powertool Cheerleaders versus The Boy Band of the Screeching Dead, a new musical comedy horror which is screening at this year's Fright Fest on Monday 29th of August at the Prince Charles Cinema in Leicester Square. It's directly after Mark's appearance in Duelling Egos so you'll be there anyway so stick around and hopefully watch it. Cheers." [20 sec]

 

C. How to email a voice memo (from an iPhone)
 

C1. The Voice Memo app is bundled free with iPhones and the red button will record you speaking into your phone. Press again to stop, doing so saves the file to the app. You can click on it to expand it and then click on the three blue dots to bring up the various options. You can also do some fairly basic editing here (basically trimming). 

C2. The Share... icon at the bottom will let you send your recording to all sorts of places, including email. The email address is correspondence@kermodeandmayo.com

If you want to send it to another device on the same wifi network you can also switch on bluetooth then click the black AirDrop button, which will go blue while searching for a connected device, and press again to send it.